Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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