pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
