I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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