beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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