bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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