I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
