There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
