I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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