can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
