Are we in a gay sports bar?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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