Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
