Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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