I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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