i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
