How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
