I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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