jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
