Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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