Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so that wasnt chicken after all
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
