using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
