she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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