i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
