Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
