You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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