Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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