So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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