VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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