sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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