I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
