wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
