Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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