Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
