My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
