I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
