Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i drank out of a bidet.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
