So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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