Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
