All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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