We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
