hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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