Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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