I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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