1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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