from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
