I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
