So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Green mimosas i think yes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
