He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
