i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
