i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
