we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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