I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
